


Gemütlichkeit

by holyrobo



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Comfort, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, Implied Crush, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-23 03:17:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17072498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holyrobo/pseuds/holyrobo
Summary: Caleb tells Fjord about Yuletide, an old Zemnian celebration, and Fjord learns what it is to feelGemütlichkeit.





	Gemütlichkeit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cinderstorms](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinderstorms/gifts).



> Full disclosure I totally forgot that Winter's Crest is essentially Christmas/Yule when I started writing this but who cares, Happy Holidays everyone!
> 
> And a very Merry Christmas to Kim, this is for you! Hope you like it.

The surprise was Fjord’s idea. He’d spent the last few days or so pulling strings, perfecting plans and delegating jobs with the hope that everything would pull together at the last moment. He knew that a lot of things could go wrong (he _knew_ the kind of people he was relying on here) but he had hope. And if they managed to pull it off, it would be wonderful. It wasn’t long now until nightfall and then they’d spring into action. They wouldn’t have long to pull it all off — perhaps fifteen minutes at the most. Anxiety rose into his throat. It would be fine, it would be fine.

The idea had initially come to him a freezing night a few days ago as he and Caleb took watch together. The snow had been drifting lazily from the clouds for the better part of the day and was now beginning to harden and freeze on the ground, crunching under their feet as they moved. The Mighty Nein were between towns, travelling long, winding roads. After a while, the conversations had grown stale and Fjord had started to grow sick of seeing only the same faces day in and day out. That was why, when Caleb had put himself forward for the watch, Fjord had jumped in on the chance to join him. Caleb was quiet and wouldn’t start any meaningless conversations just to fill the silence. In Fjord’s mind, it had been an act of self-preservation on both of their parts. He simply didn’t want to mull through small-talk for the hundredth time this week. And plus, the silence he shared with Caleb had always been fairly comfortable.

They sat a little way away from where everyone was sleeping, all of them wrapped up in blankets and thick clothing except for Jester, who simply didn’t feel the cold. Fjord watched Caleb pull his scarf tighter around his neck and blow white clouds of hot air on to his fingertips. Was it the curse of the flame wielder to always be cold? He also noticed that under Caleb’s coat there was a slightly moving Frumpkin shaped lump, and he wondered if the cat was being used to provide extra warmth (did fey creatures emit warmth? — he made a mental note to ask Caleb about it tomorrow) or for comfort. Either way, it was an uncharacteristically cute quirk.

Caleb caught him looking. He turned his head to meet Fjord’s face and barely made eye contact before he looked away, rubbing his hands together to warm them. “This weather is getting too cold, _ja_? Yule is fast approaching.”

Fjord felt a little embarrassed at being caught out for looking. He cleared his throat quietly. “Yule?”

“Yuletide. It is primarily a Zemnian thing.” Caleb blew on his fingertips again. “They don’t celebrate it in Port Damali?”

“Not to my knowledge, no. I haven’t heard of it before. Is it some kind of… Festival?”

“Of sorts. I haven’t celebrated it for a long time though. It is a time of celebration of the solstice around the Winter’s Crest.”

“I see… I’ve never really celebrated Winter’s Crest much myself,” Fjord whispered, enjoying the topic of conversation for the first time in what seemed like forever. There was always something special and sacred about Caleb talking about his roots, and Fjord felt honoured to be chosen to hear about them.

“Oh, Yule is much better,” Caleb sighed, Fjord spotting the tiny smile on his lips. “It is my favourite time of year. It is the epitome of coziness in the dark nights. There is a word for the feeling of it in Zemnian — _Gemütlichkeit_. You know, lit fireplaces and eating _Schokolade_ off of the tree? Many gifts, board games and family arguments.” Caleb had that mischievous look in his eye — the one he wore time to time when he had just said something witty.

“Well, Caleb, it sounds lovely. I’d like to experience this, uh, gemewtlitchkite myself one day.” As soon as the word had left Fjord’s mouth he knew that he’d butchered it.

“ _Gemütlichkeit._ ”

“ _G-Gemütlichkeit_?”

“ _Ja_ ,” Caleb gave him a thumbs up. “You’ve got it.”

 

When Fjord awoke the next morning he was consumed with thoughts of Zemnian Yuletide. It was the opportunity to do something nice for Caleb, someone who’d clearly struggled initially in becoming part of the group they’d formed but had come a long way since then.It was also an opportunity for everyone to rest, celebrate and feel _Gemütlichkeit_ together, even though Fjord still didn’t quite know what that meant.

And that was how the plan had started.

*

Fjord wasn’t completely sure about how Yule was celebrated, and Caleb was smart enough that if he had kept asking, he’d quickly catch on and then the surprise would be ruined. So Fjord figured that if it was celebrated around the Winter’s Crest, it probably had a fair few similarities with it. From here he devised a list. Food, tree, decorations for tree, presents, games. And from there came the delegation. They were still travelling and would be for the next week-or-so, so it would have to be a road-side Yuletide, which, even though not ideal, had a certain charm to it. This made things hard in terms of materials but they’d just have to make do. Nott was in charge of finding things and “finding” things on the odd passer-by to decorate the tree with; Caduceus was in charge of food; Yasha and Jester were in charge of finding the perfect tree and Beau was in charge of keeping Caleb distracted when the time called for it. Fjord put himself in charge of the present. And the present was always going to be the hardest job. They were travelling and couldn’t afford to give too much time to celebrations or drop their guards down for too long. Fjord had two days at most to find something, _anything_ , to give Caleb as a gift. But it had to be something special or at the very least something very… ‘Caleb’.

So it had been lucky, _so_ lucky that they came across a merchant travelling between towns with a cart-load of stock. Fjord winked at Beau and operation distract Caleb was on. “ _Caleb!_ ”, Beau yelled, completely unnaturally, making the poor wizard flinch, “tell me about some fuckin’ _books_ , yeah?”

Fjord snuck away quickly to the merchant, stumbled upon the perfect gift, laughed to himself at his own genius and darted back. Job done.

*

“I suppose we’d better stop for the night,” Fjord announced, winking at Beau as he said it. That was the signal that the Yuletide plan was officially a-go. Beau winked back and jumped off of their cart, calling for Caleb as she did so to come to investigate some made up movement in the bushes across the road with her. Her call for Caleb was then the signal for Jester and Yasha to run off to find the perfect tree and for Caduceus to start sorting out food. Caleb’s removal was Nott’s cue to get the baubles and chocolate ready to be placed on the tree as soon as it was dragged back to the camp. It was, in theory, seamless. It didn’t have to be perfect, just quick.

It wasn’t long before Yasha and Jester reappeared dragging a pine tree behind them with unsurprising ease. Jester was beaming, excited beyond belief for the surprise. She’d very nearly spoiled it for Caleb on a couple of occasions, and Fjord wasn’t sure how much longer she could’ve kept it hidden. “This one is the most symmetrical, you know?” And it was a very fine tree. Tall, with its even boughs dusted with powder-fine snow. Fjord could see it, proud and perfect when decorated. Everything was already going so well.

Yasha and Jester got to digging a hole for the tree to be propped in while Nott clambered confidently up it, placing trinkets and treats as she went. Fjord went to check on Caduceus, crouched over the quickly-lit fire cooking some kind of spiced meaty stew with potatoes and root vegetables. It smelt wonderful, Fjord just hoped that there weren’t any dead people in it.

Fjord honestly couldn’t believe that this would be their first plan that actually worked well. After everything they’d been through, every plan failure and idea backfiring on them, it turned out that the one thing they could do well was something nice for one of their own — something nice for each other.

They’d come to each other vulnerable, seeking some kind of meaningful tie to the world through someone, something. And slowly, _achingly slowly_ , they’d started to find it. They were finding it in each other.

Fjord realised, gripping the present he’d wrapped carefully in a couple of torn out sheets of Jester’s sketchbook paper, that they’d found family.

“W-what is all this?”

Fjord turned to see Caleb and Beau back from their fake excursion into the bushes. Beau’s grin was huge, lopsided and proud. The tree decorations, some of them twinkling with Light cast on them by Caduceus, reflected in Caleb’s wide eyes. “Did... You do this, Fjord?”

Fjord could feel shyness spread across his cheeks. Was it selfish of him to feel good about doing this? Or was this what selflessness felt like? “I —“

“Happy Yuletide!” Jester and Nott shouted, drowning out Fjord’s voice.

The grin on Caleb’s face was ridiculous. He looked like a child on their birthday. “You all did this for me?”

“It was Fjord’s idea,” Nott said earnestly, “but we all helped. I gathered the tree decorations.”

“And Yasha and I got the tree!” Jester exclaimed, Yasha nodding proudly beside her.

“I’ve cooked us up a little something more special than usual…” Smiled Caduceus.

“I kept ya distracted,” Beau said with a sharp elbow to Caleb’s side.

“And I, uh,” Fjord said, stepping in front of Caleb with the gift held out, “I got you a present.”

“This...” whispered Caleb, turning the present over in his hands; “this is _book_ sized.” There was a glimmer in his eye that always appeared when books were involved. As soon as Fjord saw that, he knew that he’d done a good job. Everyone was watching silently as Caleb undid the wrapping, letting it fall to the floor.

In his hands lay the thick, brown leather-bound notebook that Fjord had gotten Jester to paint on. The calligraphy on the front, written in beautiful gold paint, read ‘The Adventures of The Mighty Nein’, and in smaller letters underneath, ‘By Caleb Widogast’.

When Caleb seemed to turn to stone, Fjord knew he’d done a good job. Caleb’s face wore an expression he’d never seen before — not on anybody. Gratitude, shock, the first feeling of belonging? Whatever it was, it made Fjord feel warm, it made his stomach feel as if he was on the sea even though his legs were planted firmly on the ground.

“I — oh _Scheiße_ — I don’t know what to say. Fjord, thank you, thank you, everyone.” He looked deeply uncomfortable with all of the attention being on him, but it was nice to see. It was Caduceus that broke it up with the exclamation that the food was ready.

 

Fjord decided that he liked Yuletide, even though the celebration they’d prepared was essentially just Winter’s Crest. Maybe there was more to Yule that Fjord didn’t quite understand, that feeling that Caleb had described that night on watch; had he managed to capture that? Looking around at everyone having fun, eating, playing games from their hometowns, telling stories from different cultures, plucking chocolates off of the tree… Maybe this was _Gemütlichkeit_? He sat quietly for a while, his hands warming around a cup of Caduceus’s tea, watching Frumpkin bat the baubles closest to the ground. He didn’t notice initially when Caleb sat next to him with his own mug of tea.

“Thank you for doing this, Fjord. It has been a long time… Since I have had so much _fun_.”

Fjord turned to look at Caleb, to take in what his face looked when he wasn’t feeling so crushed by his burdens when he wasn’t worrying, stressed or heartbroken. He was handsome. Fjord could see him in his mind's eye, neatly shaven with his hair washed and cut. High cheekbones, a strong jawline, eyes as blue as the ocean. It was overwhelming, the thought that if only things had been better for him he could’ve been living an entirely different life. A happy one.

Fjord forced himself to look away, afraid of staring for too long. “It was no problem, Caleb. You know,I’ve been thinking, and I think we all needed a little _Gemütlichkeit_.”

“Oh! You remembered.”

He laughed nervously, “yeah, well, it’s easier to remember when you understand the meaning and what it feels like.”

“ _Ja_ , that is true. Do you feel _Gemütlichkeit_ now?”

“I believe I do.” Fjord felt Caleb’s little finger brush against his own where it was resting on the ground. He knew that in Caleb’s world he was holding his hand. And that was more than good enough.

“Me too.”


End file.
